I teach four tenants of giving great feedback, and this one is by far the most popular.
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Most people do not have the sovereignty to self-soothe an activated nervous system under a vast range of life circumstances, and, our work as adults is to move in this direction.
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If we’ve only been seeped in dysfunction, we will instinctively normalize that behavior, not understanding that healthy people relate in a completely different way.
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You may feel like the odd-(wo)man out when you take inventory of the dysfunction of your family of origin, but did you know how rare it actually is to be raised by emotionally mature adults? So rare it deserves to be a statistic.
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We have a lot of examples of what not to do, just look anywhere on social media. In this article, I’ll discuss how to engage in an emotionally intelligent conversation that helps bring actual progress to systemic racism.
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And just in case you’re wondering, neither is “fine,” “interesting,” or “good.”
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Most of us have learned in our lives that there must be something wrong with us if we are sad. But what if there is nothing wrong? What if it’s perfectly acceptable to be sad and cry, and what if resolving this profound emotion only required a few emotional intelligence tools that most of us are missing?
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When a Kurdish tour guide from Istanbul tells you you’re emotionally weak, there’s only one thing to do about it: allow your life to be totally transformed.
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I have a lot of clients and people in my network asking me to suggest books they can read to learn how to do this transformation-liberation-self-realization thing. Here’s a hint about what to do instead.
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Do you find yourself preoccupied with the pursuit of happiness, and continue to come up dry? Consider this tip to start feeling happier, immediately.
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If we've made something about ourselves wrong, either knowingly or unknowingly, and shut it down, we definitely are going to find that same thing about others wrong and try to shut it down, too.
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We must replace the belief that those who aren't perfect deserve to be punished immediately with something more constructive. We've got to stop blaming people for not being good enough.
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How do you know if you’re actually the one who is emotionally unavailable? And when you figure that out, what do you do about it?
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It's no secret that technology is becoming a more and more integral part of our daily lives at an astonishing rate. And with this rapidly growing relationship with technology, many of us have lost our ability to relate with one another.
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Most people are not equipped to help you process your emotions, but what they are equipped to do is to receive your heart.
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It’s easy to trick ourselves into believing we’ve healed simply because we’ve learned to masterfully control our external environment and have a good understanding of why we do what we do. But the proof is in the pudding: true healing has happened when you no longer get activated by old patterns.
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“Smart people listen to those feelings. And the smartest people among us - the ones who make great intellectual leaps forward - cannot do this without harnessing the power of intuition.”
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We tend to pair our existential experience and identities with that of the development of the first phase of intellectual sovereignty, but if you’re really seeking freedom, these other levels of sovereignty are important to experience, too.
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Whether you’re willing to acknowledge this fact or not, we are emotionally driven beings. Taking action requires emotion. So don’t you think it’s about time you started paying attention to how you feel?
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Whether we're aware of it or not, most of us have been gaslit. What is it, how does it impact you and your ability to trust others, and how do you heal from it?
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