Are you emotionally evacuating your body?
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash
Are you emotionally evacuating your body?
This is a poetic statement because it's not actually possible to literally evacuate your body, but it is possible to instantaneously retract and shut down full cellular expression of your energetic vibration.
It's a form of self-preservation associated with freeze/disassociation/befriending and is common amongst those who have experienced trauma or conditioning around being "too much", either through observation or direct experience.
Those of us raised in environments where it was unsafe for us to feel ourselves because a high amount of perhaps unpredictable energy was coming from the bodies of the people around us are especially skillful at pulling all the way inward at the drop of a hat.
The experience is not unlike this scene in Avatar where Jake Sully is out in the jungle for the first time and he discovers these enormous orange plants that are splayed out in a gorgeous and radiant spiral display.
The moment he touches it, the plant immediately retracts into a tiny little bud.
The vibration of your emotions is carried in your cells through neurotransmitters. We both emit and receive vibrational transmission through receptors on those cells.
We are all attuned to these vibrations, though we may not all be aware that we are. When you're the type of person I described above, the way this expresses itself is that all of your attention is on what other people are doing, or what you are feeling from them, or what you expect from them (even if you expect volatility).
You may be extraordinarily observant and attuned to your external environment, you may even have built an entire identity around being observant and a good girlscout — prepared for anything — but where you're not observant is on what's happening for you, in your internal environment, nor about YOUR impact, and what YOU are transmitting.
Everything you do, every action you take, is in the interest of protecting yourself from outside violation.
A lot like this plant.
You will, naturally, be attracted to people who continue to perpetuate this experience for you. Because in a way, you have learned to feel safe not turning on fully, not expanding ever, and never, ever, being radiant.
But, my dear one, you are radiant.
How do I know?
Because all of us are.
(Yes, all of us.)
All that's needed is an environment that is specifically designed for you to see it for yourself.
Unlike this plant, you can choose to not retract. You can choose to stay expanded. And you can choose to be radiant, no matter what.
Doing so requires a willingness to leave no stone unturned, healing your neurological response to environmental sensory input, learning what your boundaries and needs are, and starting to pay attention to what matters most: YOU.