The world is a mirror. As within, so without. You see what you think/believe.

Not only is this proven in neuroscience, but it's also a Universal Law (the Law of Reflection), and has been written about in ancient spiritual texts that are thousands of years old.

And it's one of the biggest keys to your own growth and evolution.

This teaching has been co-opted by "manifestation" coaches in order to fixate on our relationship to scarcity and abundance. It's been used to gaslight people who are in genuinely traumatic situations, leading to victim-blaming. Frankly, it's been abused and used to abuse in so many unhelpful ways that I've felt reluctant to talk about it, even though it's been by far the most valuable teaching for me in my own growth.

Particularly with regard to people I don't like, or who trigger me in some way.

The way it works is:

• If you experience someone as brilliant, wonderful, compassionate, kind, humble, and loving, then you are brilliant, wonderful, compassionate, kind, humble, and loving.

• If you experience someone as cruel, controlling, selfish, and unempathic, then you are cruel, controlling, selfish, and unempathic.

There is a lot of nuance here. You may not be cruel in the same ways another person is cruel. You may not use the same methods to control. Your selfishness could be covert (some of the most selfish people I know are huge empaths!). It may not show up relationally with others on the surface; it could show itself with how you relate to yourself inside of your own mind (which, frankly, has an even bigger impact on your relationships than you realize).

But it's there, just the same.

And the point is not to fixate on these gnarly bits and beat yourself up about it; the point is to embrace and release them so that you grow beyond right/wrong thinking into a more neutral, equanimous experience of reality.

When I encounter a person who irritates me in some way, I get straight to work at going into inquiry: "Where do I do that thing I don't like about them?"

I ask this question of myself no matter what is happening on the surface. I ask it even when I know someone is projecting onto and blaming me. I ask it even when I feel hurt by a particular behavior.

This question serves an important purpose. It immediately directs me *away from* separation and alienation (via the vehicle of judgment) and *toward* union (via the vehicle of compassion and humility).

To be honest, my motivation to unrelentingly direct myself in this way has everything to do with my own comfort. It is MORE comfortable to accept and embrace the truth that I might be controlling or arrogant than it is to deny it. To deny it and blame others causes me actual physical pain and discomfort. To "other" people hurts my heart and leads to enormous suffering. And I ain't got time for that!

There is a saying that your growth is singularly dependent on how much truth you can accept about yourself without running away.

The truth you refuse to see and embrace in yourself will be shown to you in others in the form of challenging relationships and painful life experiences.

The capital T Truth is that we contain ALL expressions of humanity and life in our being. Both the big and the small, the wonderful, and the destructive.

And our biggest work is to realize that.