Be willing to see god in each person.

Have you ever been severely judged by someone, or otherwise had a person indicate that your way of living was unacceptable to them? That you weren't good enough, that you didn't do enough, that you being you was somehow an assault to and violation of the comfort and happiness of someone else?

It's awful.

Really really awful.

This behavior is abusive, harmful, and manipulative.

It's also really unkind.

And.

I'd be willing to put big money down that everyone reading this has been on the receiving end of this sort of treatment. If you tune into it you can probably feel the heartbreak of being treated that way right now, it's so visceral.

I'd also be willing to put big money down that everyone reading this has ALSO done it to someone else.

How do I know?

Because it's almost always the case that those of us who vehemently deplore a behavior in others do that thing the most frequently. Those of us who are terrified of being severely judged are the ones doing all the judging.

We have identified with some kind of moral or intellectual superiority which has given us a self-proclaimed right to play god in other people's lives.

I'm not writing this to point fingers. I'm writing it to direct your attention to the actual source of this pain you experience:

YOUR judgment (not other people's behavior).

Because the most judgmental people are also judgmental of being judgmental. Which makes them blind to their own judgmental ways, not realizing the path of destruction they leave in their own wake.

And if they saw it, not only would they be heartbroken; they'd be humiliated.

Because of all people, they know just how awful it is.

I'm going to be very clear here: I did not learn this in a book.

Neutralizing how judgment feels in your body is the only way to heal this. Being willing to ADMIT TO YOURSELF that you judge others and that you judge others because you judge yourself is the path to sobriety here.

Then, the next time someone is BRAVE enough to tell you they feel judged by you, instead of defending yourself, you can thank them. And mean it. And adjust YOUR judgment, instead of trying to adjust the way they live their life.

Not a single one of us is god, and yet, god is in all of us.

Be willing to see the god in each person. Beyond your idea of who they “should” be.

Let them surprise you.

I love you.