The difference between needs and being needy.

There is a sweet spot between non-attachment (Yama) and contentment (Niyama). Our work is to find that sweet spot.

I talk a lot about needs. Needs are my jam. And, there is an important teaching embedded here: not being fixated and attached to those needs in order to feel satisfied.

When needs become indulgent it’s time to investigate.

A part of us being in harmony with the outside world is to become aware of what our needs are in order to live well. Not just our physical needs but our energetic, emotional and spiritual needs.

Things get hairy really fast though when our needs become attachments and, if they are not being met, sources of irritation and dysregulation.

This is where living from the inside out — rather than from the outside in — is vital.

Being in harmony inside yourself is essential. Being able to be with dissonance is what makes a person masterful at creating harmony under all circumstances.

Needs and boundaries at first can feel like they have to do with the outside world…and in a way, they do! We need to remove ourselves from environments and relationships and habits and maybe also what we consume (information, food, etc) which perpetuate our attached and fixated behaviors and attitudes in the interest of accessing our own wisdom and becoming clear.

This is a sort of purging that many don’t endeavor into because one must face deep-seated fears around abandonment and not-belonging in order to go there.

I see this stage of spiritual development as the weed-out stage. Serious practitioners will investigate every single attachment they have: money, sex, dishonesty/denial (of self and with others, and the former informs the latter), status and reputation, material belongings, labels, identities, relationship constructs, all of it in the interest of becoming sovereign and unbound in the world.

The universal truth is that you belong only to god. And, attunement to our more subtle needs which by design foster the inward journey supports that awareness coming into our consciousness.

A helpful mindset to adopt here is willingness and receptivity.

How open are you? How willing are you to let go of controlling every aspect of your life so that it can be informed and guided by god (who, frankly, has way more insight than us humans ever could)? How willing are you to take actions which may initially cause disharmony in your life in the interest of experiencing inner peace?

How willing are you to be humbled by the possibility that you’re not willing or receptive at all?