Six *FREE* resources for your personal growth journey.
Spending time with family this time of year is often a perfect opportunity for the once annual cruel reminder that certain things (and people) never change.
Except I want you to know that it's not true (!!!). Things can change. Your experience of people can change in an instant. And you have more influence and impact that you realize even if you're convinced it's everyone else who is dysfunctional (I assure you, it's not just everyone else).
As we approach the holidays and everyone is in a frantic sprint toward the end of the year and playing personal dodge ball with their unhealed family dysfunction, I wanted to share some free resources for you to consider if you are embarking on or amidst an explicit personal/spiritual growth journey.
While the services I personally offer come with a financial investment — and coaching with me isn't for everyone — there are so many things that are so accessible and that are actually the exact right next step for so MANY people. So if you're amongst that "many" - this post is for you.
(You'll notice this list does not include any books. I may do another post sometime about this, but my personal opinion is that experience and immersion are far better teachers than theory and systems and intellectual understandings. I LOVE books, but I find the spiritual/personal growth ones especially are way more useful in the digestion and metabolization process than they are in the preparatory one.)
Water.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but the transformational potential of hydration is actually really huge. Water is our greatest life force. Most people are tired and don't have the energy to pursue more purposeful paths in their lives because they are dehydrated (both literally, and figuratively!). So let's handle the literal dehydration, amiright?? In most places, water is free (and all it takes is one trip to Ethiopia where people walk 5 miles each way DAILY to fetch water for their families to really be grateful for the abundance of water we are privileged to have access to here in the Western World — which is a topic for another time). Drink a lot of it and watch your life change almost effortlessly.
(it's especially good luke warm first thing in the morning).
Sleep.
If you're amongst the majority who are not sleeping enough, this simple life adjustment is a total game changer. Here's what I do, personally: If I know I need to be up at a specific time in the morning, I make it a point to be in bed at least nine hours before that. I HATE waking up to an alarm, which disrupts my lucid dreaming practice (and frankly, makes me a little cranky), and my tendency is to sleep 8 hours and 15 minutes on average, so doing this ensures that if I give myself a nine hour window, I'm likely to wake up on my own, totally refreshed and ready to get out of bed and get on with my day. SLEEP IS TOTALLY FREE.
(there are a lot of opinions out there about sleep but one thing we know for sure is that it's literally the only way you can get new stores of energy.)
Meditation.
Many people don't meditate because they think they don't know how. Not only are there a million free resources to teach people how to meditate on the internet, but there is really very little you can do wrong when you start a meditation practice. The true power of the practice comes from the consistency and commitment, though, not from the act itself, which is what most people forget, which is why most people ask themselves when they start: "am I doing this right?" Pro-tip: you're doing it right if you're showing up. Side bonus of meditation is that if and when you commit to a practice, you also do HUGE and very important empowering things for your own self-trust and integrity.
(I am personally very partial to meditations that involve body-scans/embodiment, which are excellent for the nervous system and emotional growth. If you're interested in more specific resources under this topic, drop me a comment and I'll help you out.)
Presence.
As an addendum to meditation, which is a practice of presence, ACTUAL PRESENCE even when you're not sitting or laying down in silence, is the biggest gift you can give to both yourself and to other people. If you devote yourself to only ever being 100% present in your life, you quickly learn — for free — exactly how you need to prioritize and live in order to uphold this value.
(Hint: for most people this requires the biggest lifestyle change and often involves a complete 180 in behavior and habits, which is why so many people avoid it. Society is very compelling in encouraging lack of presence, to our collective detriment. Rebellion and defiance is absolutely necessary here in order to be successful.)
Truth-telling.
Talk about high sensation! Many of us have been conditioned to keep our truth to ourselves. But man, if I’ve learned one thing about building intimacy with the people I care deeply about, it’s that sharing vulnerable truths is really the glue of relationships. And intimacy is an excellent catalyst to personal growth because when you have it and can trust it, you can rest-assured that the people you keep close will serve you with excellent mirrors for you to spot your own unconscious material. So even when it’s edgy, uncomfortable, wobbly, and vulnerable: choose truth-telling.
(it bears mentioning that I’m not talking about brutal honesty which is usually very harsh, blame, judgment, projections, and emotional processing, all of which are unhealthy and deconstructive things to bring into most personal relationships.)
Love and compassion.
The freest of all free things. Literally at any moment, a deeper expression of love is ALWAYS available. All you have to do is choose it. Right now. Or right now. Or right now, even. Cathartic healing comes when we learn to expand to receive love from others even if it's not in the packaging we want. Cathartic healing also comes when we learn to dissolve our judgments and projections with more love and bigger compassion.
(This is the inner alchemy that changes relationship dynamics in an instant. This is the thing that has our experience of people change completely. It's is our deepest work, and it's totally, utterly, FREE.)
One of the things I really know to be true, is that without a supportive environment, personal and spiritual growth will have its inherent limitations. You need to be well-supported in order to fully surrender into being guided by the great mystery. Otherwise there is no way you'll let go of control. Water. Sleep. Meditation. Presence. Love. All of that is free and there are zero obstacles to getting started.
On the contrary, here are some NOT free things:
Your time...
and your energy.
These two things are finite resources. Which makes them INCREDIBLY valuable. Once spent, you can never get either back. So, being deliberate about how you spend your time and energy is probably one of the most fruitful occupations you could ever endeavor into.
How will you choose to spend your time and your energy in this new decade? I’d love to hear from you!